I’ve talked a lot about Loki’s path and what it means to walk it, and I’ve discussed why Odin’s path can be a hard one to walk. But what I haven’t discussed is why Odin is my patron God – at least, not in depth. I’ve mentioned before that He was the first God to come to me when I was walking an eclectic Pagan path, that He was essentially the first God to ever approach me.
That may have been what started me down my Heathen path, and I felt drawn to Him because He had come to me personally, but that wasn’t what made me realize that He was my patron.
Actually, the first time I realized how similar I was to Odin (the deity whose personality is closest to yours tends to be the easiest to develop a patron relationship with), I was a little bit terrified. Okay, if I’m being honest, extremely terrified. Not because the two of us were so similar, but because I became aware, at that moment, that there was nothing I could ever hide from Him. That He would always be able to see through to who I was underneath.
When I came to that realization, I was terrified because I wasn’t ready to be honest with myself yet, let alone have a deity able to see right through me. So, I ignored the relationship with Odin for awhile – a year, in fact – before I swore myself into His service. I was still uneasy with the relationship because I knew that He could see everything, and I didn’t know how to handle that.
I think there was a large part of me that was worried about failing, about never living up to His standards, and another large part of me that questioned why a God like Odin would ever want anything to do with me. Because I grew up in a home where I was made to feel worthless, and there are still days that I fight against that legacy. I didn’t think I had anything to offer anyone – I didn’t see myself as having any value, and that made walking Odin’s path extremely difficult.
Especially because I could have used advice when I started on Odin’s path. But every time I tried to ask for advice or even hinted at struggling at all on any of the internet groups I joined (internet because there’s not much of a Pagan or Heathen presence where I live), I got shut down, and I got shut down in the harshest manner possible.
I remember reading various posts about how only true warriors and martial artists can ever be called to Odin, and how those who don’t at the very least train themselves in martial arts should never deign to call on Odin at all. And that made it even more difficult to try to figure out what Odin wanted from me. I had no idea what to do.
So I immersed myself in the lore, and I tried to ignore all of the naysayers in the forums and on the groups, but there were still doubts that ate at me. And I hated myself, in some ways, for having doubts. I felt that, if I were being a “proper” Heathen, then I wouldn’t have doubts about the path I was walking. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to have doubts.
I think, somewhere along the way, I got so caught up in judging myself for having doubts that I forgot what Odin’s path is truly about, and the central tenet of His path is to seek wisdom. To ask questions. To explore doubts. To be comfortable with not knowing, but uncomfortable enough with not knowing to be willing to seek out the answers.
And that was the reason that I had turned onto Odin’s path in the first place. Because, in Odin, I had found a God who encouraged me to ask questions, who encouraged me to have doubts and to explore those doubts. When I read the Poetic Edda for the first time, I was enchanted and entranced by the stories where Odin went out of His way to obtain both knowledge and wisdom. I was amazed that there was finally a God out there who considered knowledge and wisdom important because I had always valued those traits.
I was raised in a Christian environment, where I was taught that humans were wrong to seek knowledge because of the punishment that the Christian God enacted on Adam and Eve when he learned that the two had eaten from the tree of knowledge. I have always hated that story because I have always felt that a proper God would encourage knowledge, not berate it.
In Odin, I found that God. And a lot of the sacrifice that Odin requires is present already for those who possess a decent amount of intellect. The major sacrifice made by anyone who truly follows Odin’s path is the ability to be blissfully ignorant of the world around you. The price of wisdom is the price of being able to see the reality of the world and how terrible and harsh reality can be. When you choose to see the world the way it is, you automatically sacrifice happiness because there is too much humanity in a person to be able to see the depth of all the world’s horrors and truly remain happy.
It’s ironic, too, when you think about the story of how Odin sacrificed one of his eyes in order to gain wisdom from Mimir’s well. There are some interpretations of that myth that suggest what Odin really did was trade one type of vision for another, and that resonates with me now. Because once you truly embrace Odin’s path, you learn how to see the world through a different pair of lenses, and you are no longer able to easily ignore the horrors you see go on around you. You trade in illusion for reality, and, in turn, you gain access to a small part of Odin’s wisdom. And that, in my experience, has been more than worth the price.
A Polytheistic Life 
This really hit home. Thank you for sharing this. I can’t tell you how comforting it is to know I’m not alone. It took me two long years to come to terms with Odin as my Patron. I, too, struggled a lot. I’m just a jolly wanderer who likes to paint and cook. I went on a journey to find my muse for art a couple years back and Odin hit me like a truck. (Every time he comes by, it’s like I’m torn apart and then rebuilt.) I was so confused as to why I was both terrified of him and in love with him. I thought I was going to become mentally unhinged.
And I found no solace in my community. Most of my fellow pagans just told me that I should back off and leave him alone…but that was like telling me to stop painting. When Odin comes around, I feel like I get impregnated with thousands of ideas and paintings…I often spend a couple days frantically sketching and writing poetry like a mad woman.
Yet, here I was, just a fat girl painter swooning over the ancient Norse god of Death and War. It still made no sense to me how I could be of any use to him. I felt like a sham.
I didn’t realize that tenacity is one of the greatest skills a warrior could have (and you have to have tenacity in spades in order to be a professional artist.) Odin helped me realize that I’m a warrior on the inside. I face the truths that no one wants to see because art is just another path of seeking wisdom.
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I think a lot of people fail to realize what it means to be a warrior. I can’t remember how many times I’ve seen the argument that being a warrior means fighting with your life on the line, and nothing else suffices.
I struggled to deal with that argument because every time I saw someone try to raise a voice against it, that person got shut down hard.
Ironically, the people I have always found myself closest to, the people I have always found myself able to relate to the best, have been men and women who have served in the military – none of them Heathen.
In fact, one of those soldiers, a man who served three tours overseas, told me that I had grown up in a war zone because of the psychological abuse I went through.
I think that there are all types of wars, and there are all types of warriors. There are, of course, the warriors that fight on the front lines, the ones who take up arms and lay down their lives. In my experience, though, those are the ones who tend to fall under the province of Thor rather than Odin.
In my experience, Odin’s warriors tend to be the leaders – the generals – that urge others into battle. The ones who use strategy and guile to win the wars being waged, no matter what type of stage those wars take place upon.
I once read something by a Heathen who bragged that if he ever found himself accosted by a gang of people that he would fight the gang until they killed him, and he went on to say that type of attitude was required by anyone claiming to be one of Odin’s warriors.
I was repulsed, and my immediate thought was that anyone following Odin would need to understand the value of a strategic retreat. There are other ways of fighting that don’t involve direct confrontation, and to engage in the type of fighting that will immediately get you killed when there are other options available is ridiculous.
And I think people forget that art and literature are within Odin’s purview, and that those two things have changed the world. Most people are unaware that a single book – Thomas Paine’s Common Sense – provided the foundation for the American Revolution. Not all wars occur in a traditional way, and there have been multiple wars on multiple fronts occurring in the United States for decades.
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Odin is a warrior, physically strong, yes, but that is far from his only and not even his main attribute.We know him for his wisdom and we know him in Asatru as the Allfather, the one who governs and looks after the Aesir and Vanir as well as humanity. Loki once teased Odin for practicing “women’s magick” which shows that Odin is not just about strength and bravado. He does what he must, what he deems the right course of action even if it doesn’t make sense to others. To me, that is what it means to be a follower of Odin. Thank you for writing this. 😀
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This and other posts where you interpret your personal experience have been immensely helpful to me. The other day when I came across these posts by doing a web search for “walking with Odin,” I felt such powerful vibrations and resonance!
Odin first appeared to me wen I was meditating with a goddess personified deity I call the Empress (today I realized that she may be a face of Freya.) He was introduced in my mind as “O” and was helping me synthesize some Christian and Pagan ideas. A priestess I asked about the encounter had no idea who I was dealing with, but it dawned on me over time I had some kind of channel with Odin.
The other day when I came across our posts, I woke up feeling another experience, stronger than before. I experienced Odin through a few signs that included the word FIRE, some energy and strategy for battles at work, and even seemingly coming right through some people.
Again, your posts have helped me interpret and grow during these experiences and I plan to visit here often to read more!
Thank you!
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I’m glad that the posts have helped you better connect with your own experiences with Odin. He is definitely an interesting god to work with!
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